Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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