so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
