i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize