It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Sober January is a disaster.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
