I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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