so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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