so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
