it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
