apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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