no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
