I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
