So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
