New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
