Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You made out with two different species that night
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
