Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
