I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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