your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we have officially lost it.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
