the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
