If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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