Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Sober January is a disaster.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
