Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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