There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
