yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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