you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
