just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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