Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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