Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
