do herpes really smell.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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