I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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