well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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