it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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