I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
