better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize