SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
