put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize