I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
