WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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