how can u be prego again
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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