1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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