shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
