i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
