Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
