nut hugger
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
