I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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