Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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