No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
