so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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