i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
