hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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