He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
