It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize