Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
