Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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