Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
