Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
