Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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