bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
