we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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