Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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