How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
