I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
