Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
