omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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