Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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